Julian is a big, big challenge for Charles. Not in a necessarily negative way and not one that he doesn't feel that he's up to! But still, a challenge. The whole "I am from the future and the future sucks" is a huge downer and mostly makes Charles feel frustrated by not really knowing what he can do to help Julian. Everything just feels so ineffective and he knows that Julian is well beyond the realm of some comforting words and inspiring phrases doing the trick. He's... pretty damn sure that Julian belongs to Erik, for all intents and purposes.
But he cares for Julian and is determined on Julian's behalf to work even harder. He'll be there for Julian, whether Julian wants him to be or not. And he has no plans on giving up on him, even if Julian ends up pushing him away, which Charles does fear that he'll do. Charles is... pretty aware of his lack of adequacy for some, thanks to recent events lololol.
And there's also the part of him that looks at Julian and sees someone else with a life-changing physical injury and wants to reach out, not just for Julian's sake but because Charles sometimes feels alone in that and wouldn't mind feeling just a little less isolated because of it. He tries to mostly suppress it because Julian is a kid and it doesn't feel fair for Charles to feel like that, but it's still there.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2011-08-29 05:26 am (UTC)But he cares for Julian and is determined on Julian's behalf to work even harder. He'll be there for Julian, whether Julian wants him to be or not. And he has no plans on giving up on him, even if Julian ends up pushing him away, which Charles does fear that he'll do. Charles is... pretty aware of his lack of adequacy for some, thanks to recent events lololol.
And there's also the part of him that looks at Julian and sees someone else with a life-changing physical injury and wants to reach out, not just for Julian's sake but because Charles sometimes feels alone in that and wouldn't mind feeling just a little less isolated because of it. He tries to mostly suppress it because Julian is a kid and it doesn't feel fair for Charles to feel like that, but it's still there.
you have drunk a bitter wine with none to be your comfort/ you who once were left behind will be welcome at love's tables
REVERSE ME, KELLER